My first attempt at Horary question. Will I ever get over the death of my father?

I have a very very close relationship with my father, he is my Sun in 9th shine bright on me, my Mercury (mind) also in 9th with my Sun, so I always have my father on my mind. He passed away 3 years ago and there isn't a day where I don't think of go with him. The only reason why I'm still living it because of my spouse.

My dad he born in August 1935, he died in August 2019. He was 84 when he go. He died of end stage cancer, I care for him in his last months, I watch him deteriorate and die slowly and there nothing I can do about it, doctors basically send him home hospice to die, doctors said it already stage 4 of his cancer it the end, and he 84.

Accepting someone death is one thing, getting over someone death is another thing. My brain is running with hundredsd of "What If" questions If I have done something differently, then my dad still be alive with me today.
The self-blame, the guilts, the grief is eating me up alive everyday.


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This the transit of my dad death the day he took his last breath (dad natal chart inner, transit outer).

My dad born with natal Scorpio Mars Opposition his Taurus Uranus exactly at 0 orb. And on the day of his death, I noticed the transit Mars Opposition his Uranus Exactly at 0 orb, it like it back to where it started when he was born.
Well, Uranus return is 84 years, and he was 84 years old, so yes, his he died right on his Uranus return, but it just seem scary to me how EXACTLY 0 degree orb it return.

And I also noticed his Nodes flips.

Also something weird, his 8th house of death is Virgo (that rule by Mercury), and transit Mercury that day Conjunct his 6th house health (his cancer illness) where his natal Pluto is. So it like that transit Mercury was communication with the death planet Pluto like saying it is for him to go, it his time. It 0 orb conjunction too. Maybe it just a coincident, but it just odd to me.

I love my dad so much, I swear I love my father more than I love my spouse. Will I ever get over my father death?

Hi fromChina,

Please be sure to read the forum rules before posting:

http://skyscript.co.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7260

What you have shared is a natal chart with an event overlaying it into a type of synastry chart. I don't see a horary chart posted. If you would like to learn more about horary, please read Deb Houlding's (the author of this site) tutorials and other useful links:

http://www.skyscript.co.uk/horary.html

A horary has nothing to do with a natal chart at all and one is never required. It is simply a question someone poses to an astrologer and the astrologer pulls up a chart for the time and place the question occurred. They use the symbolism within the chart to answer a question.

In order to share a horary, we always request that astrologers read their own charts and take responsibility for the reading. We can give feedback or answer questions but ultimately it isn't going to be our chart. If you would like a horary reading, Wade Caves is a reader and is very good (he has a website if you Google him). Please keep in mind this forum is not a free divination service though.

Unfortunately, no one could begin to attempt to answer your question with the types of charts you shared. I can see from your father's chart what a special person he was though and I do think the event for the time of his death did show a lot of difficult influences that don't happen often. One of the most striking is the Uranus return (opp Mars), which happens once in a lifetime, if you live to be 84. I view Uranus as malefic and it also aspects the ascendant lord, Saturn. As often happens, the solar return can be around the time of death. One of the most likely reasons is that his sun is what you call the Hyleg of the chart, which is the life-giving planet. Often either the sun or moon represent this planet and during a death they commonly are conjunct. It's one of the most common things I see in death event charts. One thing that is also common is that Jupiter makes some kind aspects, showing that an ending to suffering from illness occurs. Here Jupiter conjuncts and receives the natal Moon in Sagittarius and trines the natal Leo planets.

Another potential aspect that seems unsual are the nodes aspecting each other along with transit Pluto. The nodes are often associated with fated events. I doubt you could have helped and I don't think your father would want you to feel this guilt.

I am very sorry about the passing of your father. It sounds like what you are dealing with is depression from this great loss. Have you maybe thought of reaching out to a psychologist? They will have a lot of experience in helping you cope better. Everyone is so different in how the handle and process loss and it sounds like you need some legit support.

My own father is currently in hospice with cancer as well, so this hit home.

Thank you Sir/Mrs Tanit3333,

I'm sorry about your father health, the hardest was see your own parent day by day deteriorate and die slowly in front of your eyes and there nothing you can do about it because it end stage cancer.

Thank you for your help read the day he died transit, I actually cry while reading your replied about his death transit, it helps me understand more.

I actually have my answer from your replied, so thank you so much.

I have Moon in 12th, Sun and Mercury conjunct in 9th, my father was my Sun in that 9th house shine bright on me, when that Moon in 12th basically did nothing, I never have a relationship with my mother nor love my mother the way I love my father.
The reason why I'm still her on this Earth is because of my husband. I guess my husband is that Jupiter in my 7th house.

Thank you though for your help read the transit, I have my answer.